Woman to Woman Rape and Sexual Assault

The existence of woman to woman rape or sexual assault is rarely thought about, talked about or acknowledged in any community. The ‘lesbian’ form of sexual violence is widely denied and hidden amongst the lesbian population. This factor in queer culture is a hindrance to accepting that violence exists in lesbian relationships, let alone that sexual perpetrators can be females. The perpetuating myth excludes battering and sexually violent relationships, incest, date and acquaintance rape, sexual misconduct by professionals and harassment by co-workers. This is at the sacrifice of justice to the survivors, often stilling their voices to share their experiences or reach out for help Many women who have experienced same sex violence rarely speak out. The current estimate for woman who report or tell someone about sexual violence is around 1/10 survivors. It is safe to assume, with around 30% (Brand & Kidd, 1986: Duncan, 1990: Walder-Haugrud & Gratch, 1997) of lesbians in studies saying they had been raped by another woman, that the 1/10 estimate for women to women rape brings the perpetration of this crime to undeniable percentages.So how is it that with so many women being affected by same sex rape, no one ever hears about it? You don’t read about it in gay and lesbian magazines, certainly don’t hear it on the news. Is it because women generally don’t talk about it, or is societies denial the main cause for silence? A study on 70 women who were survivors of same sex sexual violence (Girshick 2002) showed how little attention was paid to the possibility of being raped by a woman. Lesbians were caught off guard by sexual assault committed by another woman. Afterward many felt that it couldn’t have been rape, under the preconception that rape only involves a penis entering an orifice. Once they began to believe it happened, and reach out, there was little information available and practically no services equipped to deal with the issue.

Admitting same sex rape amongst females is hard for the lesbian/feminist community to accept, and is a major cause for the silence. The few that still hold myths on this subject do damage to survivors recovery, often making the survivor more confused and isolated. The downplaying the emotional or circumstantial state of the survivor, or outright denial, make the victims of assault shy away from talking to feminist based support groups, lesbian/ bisexual friends and partners, which adds to the segregation of rape support networks and survivors of female to female sexual assault. The myths behind this cultural injustice are clearly self protecting. The fear of losing a hard earn reputation of ‘lesbian utopia’ would add more stigma to a already stereo typed community.

Let’s look at a few of the myths that are held by some lesbian /feminist population
-that lesbian relationships are mutual and none violent
-that most lesbians hold basic feminist belief systems, therefore would not commit rape
-that bringing about awareness to society may cause image problems for a already stigmatised population
-that it is impossible for a woman to rape another woman
-that it is only sexual assault, not rape
-that 9/10 rapes are committed by men
-that lesbian rape does happen, but is only a tiny percentage of over all survivors of sexual assault

These popular beliefs are some of the reasons that survivors rarely, if ever speak out. The is a great need for feminist based services and counsellors to acknowledge these attitudes within their support networks, and understand that the survivor has less options and support within human services. Although the feminist movement and lesbians hold inadequate belief systems towards same sex assault, the heterosexual community have worse opinions on this subject.

These are some common myths held by general society
-that all lesbians are feminists, and would never commit rape
-lesbians are wild and promiscuous, therefore had it coming
-lesbian sexual assault never happens
-all lesbians are into B/D S/M and sex toys, and that rape is only role playing amongst women
-that same sex rape is enjoyable for the victim
-that assault with fingers, fists, toys or objects is not rape
-anal sex amongst lesbians doesn’t occur
-that same sex rape only happens to homosexuals

There are many false beliefs towards this form of rape, and depending on the individual, the amount of acceptance and understanding from people will vary a great deal. There is another issue to consider the reasons why silence on lesbian rape continues. Many survivors believe they did not speak out because they had no words to describe what happened to them. They found the subject literally unspeakable. Many believe themselves that same sex rape couldn’t or didn’t happen. Once the survivors did begin to accept that what happened to them was rape, they had no words to explain to others about the experience, and no knowledge of were to find help.

Domestic violence amongst lesbian couples is woman-to-woman rape’s ’sister problem’, in that the two tend to go hand in hand in abusive relationships. Most woman who suffered sexual assault at the hands of their female partner acknowledge many other signs of abuse in the relationship, including beatings, stalking and power games to name a few. In reverse, over 50% of lesbians who have been in an abusive relationship suffered sexual violence from their partner as well.

The feminist movement does acknowledge domestic violence in lesbian relationships, but the belief system they hold on the subject is narrow and often does not recognise the sexual side of the abuse. The fact that the feminist community is aware of abusive relationships has only been around for a short time. It is slow progress informing and educating counselling services, refuges and medical services about lesbian relationships, let alone woman to woman sexual/physical violence.

The feminist population does hold the frontier of awareness, but they too struggle to identify the needs and difference between heterosexual based abuse and homosexual abuse. This brings about other questions- is their a difference between rape from a man or a woman? And if so, what are the differences of needs for survivors of female rape? There is an obvious need for awareness, as most counselling services are uneducated or ill equip to deal with the problem, but there are also physical differences to the types of abuse

The following list looks at the difference that victims of female sexual assault may face, in comparison to heterosexual rape
-the abuse may come in subtle forms, and be hard to identify or verbalise
-the survivor will have less avenues for support
-the actual physical abuse on the survivor may vary more in degrees and forms eg sex toys
-the survivor will face more myths and preconceptions from all communities
-if the survivor is heterosexual, this may cause other issues to arise eg homophobia or personal belief/religious systems
-the victim may not be out to family or friends
-the survivor may not be able to turn to family because of being disowned due to homophobia
-less support in the legal system
-the survivor has less chance of support or being believed

There is, of course, many similarities that all victims of sexual violence face during and after the crime has been committed, such as physical or emotional restraint or battering by the attacker and life changing emotions and repercussions. since there are differences between these two types of assault, and there is no needs annalist amongst the feminist (or other) community to acknowledge the difference in needs and experiences, this also adds to the silence of victims of rape. It adds to the overall impending feeling that no one will listen, acknowledge, or understand the emotional trauma or individual experiences.

It is an oxymoron of rights, equality and justice that lesbians be over looked as sexual predators, and even more concerning that lesbians in particular are over looked as victims of this form of rape. Gay women and bi-Sexuals are doubly targeted in respects to sexual violence. Not only do they have safety issues with men, and a impending threat of homophobic violence, but they must also navigate through the gay and b/d s/m scene in fear. In the b/d s/m culture the concept of rape is often dealt with openly, but they can hold misguided presumptions as to how when and whom gets raped. The myth that butches or dominate woman do not get raped, or that only ill educated submissives get raped in acts of b/d s/m sex, adds to the silence of survivors that have been attacked during b/d and s/m sex.

 

 

 

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Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

• Information on Lesbian Sexual Assault