Surviving Christianity
I’ve discovered that saying I’m a lesbian and believe in God/Jesus is like saying Hitler was a nice guy with ‘issues’.
Another thing that I’ve discovered about being a lesbian is that some Christian’s assume I have the I.Q. of 60 when it comes to the bible.
As time has passed and I’ve grown in my faith I’ve come to the realization that for me Christianity is something that I must survive while believing in God. The surviving comes in by enduring the rejection from so many denominations.
I understand that people who believe that homosexuality is against the bible’s teaching want to preserve that. What I don’t understand is the venom in with which they try and preserve it with. I have never understood the view that homosexuality is a sin that is so much greater than any other sin.
I don’t understand how God’s love is so sacred that I can’t be one of the ‘who so ever’ or others like me. Christianity has failed me, God hasn’t.
I guess what I’ve discovered is that for me and my walk of faith it’s a lonely one. Perhaps that is my cross to bear. I know that Jesus can relate. He faced rejection from the ‘church folk’ of his day. It’s good for me that there is that example that I can live by.
I struggle with not being bitter that I can’t sit a pew with the person I love.
Filed under: WEDNESDAY--Views on religion | Tagged: bisexual, Christianity, gay, gay Christian, gay church, homosexual, jesus, Lesbian, lesbian Christian, lesbian church, lesbians, queer
hey lesbiansayswhat~
I’m really glad to read your post, to hear that you’re out there and you’re not giving up on christianity even though you have faced a lot of rightfully upsetting situations that tell you you don’t deserve to be here. you do deserve to be here!! hang in there!!
i am ‘out’ to myself as straight, if one can say it that way,
and i seek to be a friend and advocate wherever i can to the GLBTQ community. one of the best books i’ve read, and that i would recommend, is “Our Tribe: Queer Folks, God, Jesus, and the Bible”, by Nancy Wilson. (San Francisco: Harper, 1995).
she shares just a fantastic story of how she came to pastor her denomination as a lesbian woman, the (long-standing!) history of the queer church, and the reappropriation of the Bible as ‘our story’. it’s just an incredible message about the power of inclusivity, and it can really help one to feel less alone in the church at least on a broader scale.
i don’t know if it helps, but thought i’d share in case you hadn’t heard of the book!
I am a Christian and have grown up in the church. I follow God first and the church is second. The church is not perfect and the people are sinners saved by grace. Sinners is the key. I am a sinner but God found me and saved me. I have seen mean, hateful people in the church. And I have seen kind, caring people out in the world. Many of the gay community are of the nicest, caring, friendly people you could meet. It does question some of those in the church that are judgmental and arrogant towards others. Harsh. And I have seen some of the best, most godly people in the church.
I will say that I struggle with homosexuality and the church because the Bible is strong against this type of sin. In Romans 1 it is strong how God views this compared to other sins…. if your homosexual lifestyle is what you chose then is this not an acceptance of sin and not a ‘repentance’ of sin? Have you chose this over God? If the choice is God or your lifestyle, which would you choose?
I have these choices also. Whatever is top priority in my life is what I serve over God…He reveals sin and then looks for me to repent/change my way. You have put your thoughts out there, I think, looking for validation. All matters are spiritual matters that require truth. I hope that truth is what you seek most and that God will reveal to you what His will is for you. When you became a Christian you were justified meaning your sins were forgiven. The rest of your life you experience sanctification or the process of becoming holy. It is a refining process where God works on your life to become more holy.
Please do not be offended with what I shared with you. I would think that it takes courage to share your heart with others in your blog…I hope I have not discouraged you. The Bible says to ‘build up others…to edify’ and not to tear down. I feel my words may have torn and that is not my desire. God first and then everything else second.
If you’ve read any of my rants you can tell I struggle with this also…I like the way you put it. “Christianity has failed me…God hasn’t”.
The “human” translation of what the “divine” intended, is often very different in my opinion. I go with what you go with…love. The desire to want to share spirituality with my partner. There is no room for hate and exclusion in my spiritual journey. Thanks for putting your feelings out there.
If I ever start a church, you will be welcome. Hell, you could preach a sermon and introduce your wife and we’d applaud her like we would any pastor’s wife.
The sentiments will change, but the people need to change first. We can work on that part together.
Hey sister!
Love your insights, as always.
Got another book reccomendation for ya… not a GLBT book but… it’’s called “A Generous Orthodoxy” by Brian McClaren (i think that’s how you spell it)…
I just started the book myself, but I’m finding it pretty cool.
Cheers and hugs,
Matty
ps - come out to Cali and come to my church… you could sit with whomever you want!
I am a straight white male with AIDS. I refer to myself and my ilk as “the new “N-word” of the south”. I have lived with this for 20 years. And I often wish that it would simply end. But for whatever reason, I am still here (must be bad karma :-). But “the church” blamed and abandon me when I was in my deepest our of need. And guess who accepted me with open arms: The GLBT Community. So, if one were to ask me which group is the most open, honest, and supportive you know now what my answer would be. People get confused when I denounce Christianity. I think Jesus was one of the coolest guy’s to ever grace our planet. But I think he would prefer to ‘kick it’ with us. Modern Christianity does not represent Jesus nor spirituality. It represents the power structures that are designed to keep us “in our place”, down and out. You are right, it is a lonely road. But He told us to listen to the still, small voice within to know the truth. And the truth is do no harm and to thine own self be true. After all, who wants to hang with folks that try to guilt us into conformity? God don’t make mistakes. People do. Don’t give up the search. It can be interesting.
I wish you Love and Peace!
Namaste’
i’m a lesbian and i LOVE God and Jesus-
i like your comment about how people view lesbians/gays that have this love for Him.
i know that frist hand. i worship God and Jesus all the time.-no matter where i am–but i know what you mean about churches and their rules, laws, and structure.
When God leads me and my family to a church, then we’ll go. until then i pretty much stay away from structured religion.
i just believe and i follow HIm. and i believe Him.
i have a blog dedicated to encouragment. no matter if a person is gay, lesbian, straight, no matter what color a person is, God loves us all–He made us all and we all need encouragement.
and once a person gives their life to God — it takes courage to walk the journey with Him.
i like your blog.
keep allowing your faith to grow and your wisdom will abound.
love, grace, and peace
http://wisdomteachesme.blogspot.com/
WISDOM–thank you so much for swinging by. And thank you for taking time to comment.
My spiritual relationship is rocky at the best. The people I know tend to fall into two camps, uber Christians who are praying for my salvation, and gay/lesbian folk who look at me as if I’m sadistic.
I have a lot of rough edges that need work……