Talking Boobies

Cara informed me that at her job there is a woman who believes that her breasts can talk to her.  So this woman walks around the unit talking to her breasts. 

This of course leads to one of the many what if conversations that we have around our house.

“Ceara, what would you do if you boobs talked to you?”

“Hell Cara I wouldn’t want my nipple to have a mouth. That’d be weird.  What the hell would my boob have to say?  It’d be too busy trying to chew through my bra and shirt.”

Cara laughs. “You wouldn’t talk to you boobies?”

“Fuck no.  I’d put a band aid over its mouth to shut it up.”

“What if it chewed through that?”

“I’d gag it with a q-tip then put a band aid over it.”

This coming from someone who can have a conversation with a talking vagina.  What would a milk bag have to say?  Nothing I’d want to hear.